Kaiser Jan

This has been around for a while and it's hilarious and needs to be resurfaced. Big props to the creator!

Training Tip: Read every page and then remember it as you ride...it will make you 2-3 mph faster. You will likely end up in your red zone without meaning to.

www.myspace.com/kaiserjan

Here are a couple short quotes:

"The Jan is being a simple man. The Jan takes in schnitzel and beer, and outputs death and pain. It is being that simple."

"People of France, gather your children. Run to the hills. For the Jan is coming. And death rides with him."

"The T-Mobile plan was actually being for Jan to compete in both events yesterday, and for the Team Time Trial the entire T-Mobile team would simply crawl onto the Jan's back, and then hold onto each other like some giant pink sphere of pain, and the Jan would just carry them the whole way. We even thought of maybe just driving the T-Mobile team bus onto my back and the Jan could just carry that, but when we tried it, little Matty Kessler started crying and said he was being scared and then he wouldn't get in the bus, and I'm like, Bro! Get in the fucking bus! I am, like, already having the bus on my back! You better get freaking in there, crap face! But he wouldn't."